he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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