...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think my vagina is haunted
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize