If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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