wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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