I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
