so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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