Can Purell be used as lube?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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