I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
