She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
