Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
