Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's just like the Real World with babies
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
