So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
