those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
