what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
