my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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