the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
