On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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