bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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