i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hippo gnu deer
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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