so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
