OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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