If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
