We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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