so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
