I heard we made out
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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