i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
