we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize