I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
