wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
