YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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