Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
