I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
