wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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