I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
