If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
