Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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