I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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