He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
