i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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