problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
