she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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