Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
