They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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