its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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