Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
