I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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