I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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