shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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