Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
