Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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