You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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