Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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