Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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