I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize