I think im going to throw up on grandma
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
