Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
