Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
