batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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