I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it glows. i had to have it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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