i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
