fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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