Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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