No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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