Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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