i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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